A deep devotion to understanding how we heal and what is health has been at the forefront of my life since it first began. Birth trauma and early childhood abandonment by Czech immigrant parents—who were directly affected by the traumas of WWII—laid the grist I would need for my awakening mill.

Like many young, empathic, and highly sensitive souls, I became hyper-attuned to my environment for survival. Suppression and dissociation from my emotions and needs due to the absence of conscious adults forced a reliance on the only thing I felt I could trust—my spiritual inner world.

I attended a different school almost every year growing up. Change was the only constant. Depression, substance abuse, and numbing started in middle school. Feelings of worthlessness, neglect, and rejection were all I knew. I struggled with self-esteem and belonging, though was often called “an old soul” by those who met me.

In my early 20s, I immersed myself in subsistence living in Vermont as a WWOOFer, where I made friends with the founders of Contact Improv. I later farmed and nannied on the Oregon Coast, which I was known as Mary Poppins by the children I cared for.

Waldorf teacher training called to me in Portland. I knew I was too young to take on the teacher role at that time, but it felt like an education my inner child deeply longed for.

I began to study food as medicine, macrobiotics, naturopathy, and herbalism. Ecstatic dance, conscious relating, Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Hakomi, and Family Constellation were all on my path of curiosity, connection, and personal growth.

I joined spiritual communities—some of which could be called cults—which took me to Scotland and Austria. I completed several 10-day silent meditation retreats in India, Nevada, and Washington, all in search of an inner peace and sense of family I had never known. This foundation for stilling the mind would be essential for the rest of what my life would bring.

In my late 20s, I realized I needed a career. After polling my closest friends, it was clear I would attend massage school.A perfect fit: natural healing related, hands on, creative, and a flexible schedule.

During my years as a massage therapist, I started to experience the connection between the mind, emotions, and body. I began picking up intuitive insights about the traumas my clients had experienced in their life. The more I shared what I was sensing, the more it was confirmed that the body remembers—and has a story that wants to be heard. Reiki training confirmed that I had already been practicing energy healing all along. I felt an inner guidance teaching, guiding, and whispering to me.

It became apparent that the healing I was offering my clients was the same healing I needed myself. After decades of talk therapy without significant shifts, I finally began receiving somatic healing.

I trained with Todd Jackson in Biodynamic Bodywork and Craniosacral Therapy and received a great deal of bodywork in the process. My nervous system began to come out of freeze—I was thawing. Memories resurfaced, and so much began to make sense. I finally could begin writing a new story for myself outside of what my trauma had me stuck in the pattern of repeating.

During this time psychedelics wove their way in, and took me down. At times, I was unable to work for years. I wanted a quick fix. Looking back over a decade of psychedelic experimentation, I can now see that much of the draw was a trauma response—an attempt to shock my nervous system rather than truly heal it. Risky behavior and bipolar tendencies weren’t new to me, due to a lack of self-value or care.

Now I understand that embodiment, actually being in the body, is the key to grounded, mature spirituality and right livelihood. “Chop wood, carry water” holds deep meaning for me now. Inner parenting and inner child work have been pivotal to the self-love needed to find the peace I searched high and low around the world for.

Throughout the decades Jungian psychology—with its archetypal, synchronistic, and alchemical significance—profoundly shaped my understanding. With a rich dream life that I have actively engage with for years, I know the psyche speaks to us deeply and directly when we are willing to listen.

In my free time I value the creativity and beauty I receive from experiencing world travel, walking outdoors, and photography. Dance, discovering new music, and foreign film bring me much joy. Im working on expressing more recently through my singing voice and practicing more writing. My friendships are some of the most meaningful gold in my life. I am a Leo North Node, Libra Rising, Virgo Sun, and Cap Moon.

Some of my influences are Richard Rudd (Gene Keys), Stanislav Groff, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Joseph Campbell, Sri Aurobindo and The Mother, and Carl Jung.