Healthy Power and How to Claim It
In my work coaching/mentorship with my clients I have learned a great deal about growth, healing, transformation, and relationship. And I have also learned a lot through being a student/mentee of teachers, guru’s and guides. It has been a passion of mine to explore these kinds of relationships, because as a sensitive, intuitive, empath I can see pitfalls, lessons, blind spots often overlooked. I probably have watched every fallen guru documentary that exists, and this has been hugely informative to how I cultivate integrity in my work with those who come to me for help in their healing.
Over this past eclipse season I had huge realizations around what it means to have integrity as someone who influences others on their life path. I know that some people look to me as an authority on healing, and that is a huge responsibility for me, one that I don’t take lightly. I reflect back to my clients that they are the authors of their own life, with an intuition and body they can listen to and trust. There is power there for them to claim when they do. One thing that has become extremely clear to me is that most people are terrified of their own power, because with greater power comes great responsibility. Believe me, I am right there with you. Wielding a sword is a practice that requires great respect.
And it is with wisdom that we must approach our personal power. The ego is very eager to claim credit, and the spiritual ego is one slippery and sneaky sucker. We can get very convinced we are on our spiritual path, and then come to find we have deluded ourselves once again. Power is something that is quite misunderstood. And it’s something that I tread very carefully around, while at the same time having the courage to learn more about. As it is an essential part of fulfilling our personal and spiritual mission within our life. Getting comfortable with making messes and cleaning them up becomes another essential part of the initiation.
The key tenants I have been distilling down lately are around humility, curiosity, and doubt. There is a healthy amount of doubt that is good to work with in order to test and question the truth and validity of things. This is necessary as we discern what is for us and what is not. No one else can tell you. We can get perspectives but ultimately we are the only ones who can decide. Learning to trust ourselves also core to the layers of this initiation. This doesnt mean we need to throw the baby out in the bathwater, not at all. We must have capacity for nuance, paradox, and multiplicity. We can be forged in the fire of challenge in our lives which grows us as stronger leaders for Truth and for Love as we know it. Holding others in compassion, remembering that we are all always still faulty, imperfect humans. That we will never be able to hold the whole Truth in all its complexity. So we can hold our piece of the fractal puzzle, and yet we cannot hold tight, as we may suffocate the life we seek to nurture and support to flourish.
We also need to be extremely brave, willing to be in great discomfort, and let go of the shore of what is even up or down. We made need to let go of all we have known. We may need to be humiliated. Feel the depth of all the emotions we humans so often wish to annihilate completely… like shame, grief, embarrassment, devastation, powerlessness, worthlessness, disgust, fear, terror, anguish. Within this realm of abandoned, ignored, rejected, denied feelings and emotions lives a great deal of energy… and what I have found is that at some point we get stopped in our tracks… maybe by extreme fatigue, a loss like death, divorce, disease… in order to have the chance to finally meet and digest these blocks of resistance within our system. This can be done alone. But I can tell you as someone who has devoted themselves consciously to this work my whole life, that even then I circled far and away from the core of it for decades until I actually started to ask for help to really go there to meat of the pain. I am one of the braver people to those who know me, and still, I knew nothing of the courage it would take to go down into the depths that were required to resuscitate the parts of me that I had disowned, disguised, and relegated to the dark basement of my Being.
This work for me still continues, and will. And I think this is one of the beautiful things about my work. Because I meet people down in it. I am not above it. But I have learned to keep my head above water, and bound my processes to stay fully committed and present with your process. It is only in the ways that it is in service to you that I allow you into my shared experience. And this level of vulnerability is a special sauce I often see is missing from other teachers, guides, mentors, or coaches. And I find this empowering and leveling from the pedestalization, power over dynamics that can play out in such relationships. My goal is to help you come to see, feel, and know yourself as powerful, creative, loving, and brave. I support you to activate in areas of your life where maybe you have felt stuck, scared, or limited. We look lovingly, compassionately, and honestly at what is there. We look through a very powerful lens, which is that of your somatic experience. It is a layer that can express so much more information than our limited mind can offer. We can receive from the unconscious, subconscious to help us receive so much more clarity and integrated, whole Being information which can expand our energy and our life to so much more fullness than we could even imagine.